A bouncing baby boy. That’s what we wished for when we started planning for our second child. We even had a name ready as early as three years back — Sean Abraham.
Overjoyed. That’s how we felt after my wife’s pregnancy test turned out positive. It’s confirmed, we’re going to have another baby.
Three ultrasound procedures. That’s the number of scans it took to confirm the gender — another baby girl. Needless to say, we welcomed the news with the same level of excitement.
Then came our little one thirty-seven weeks after. Savia Lucille Audrey. Pale, weak, frail, and had to be revived in the delivery room for almost ten minutes. Ten of the most horrifying minutes of our lives.
Extremely worried. That’s how we felt with the lack of substantial weight gain and development no matter how hard we tried to nourish her for weeks. She also held her breath at times and kept her muscles firmly stretched.
Four specialists: A Cardiologist, Endocrinologist, and two Neurologists. These were the doctors we had consultations with prior to the diagnosis of a previous hemorrhage in her brain.
It’s like the whole world came crashing down on us. At a very young age, why would He allow this to happen to her? Why would He give us the exact opposite of our hearts’ desires?
Admittedly, we were sorely hurt, but at the same time still hopeful of His mercy and love. We were uncertain of things to come. Will she grow up like other normal children? Will she be able to walk? Talk? So many questions. I have never prayed so hard in my life.
It is in prayer that we ask and it’s also in prayer that we realize. I have come to accept that He won’t give us everything we want, that He knows what’s entirely best for us, and that His timing is always right.
If He gives in to all our hearts’ desires, then we probably would no longer find ourselves in constant prayer. And we’ll grow apart from His love.
If He throws difficulties in our way, it only means He trusts that we’re strong enough to get through each of life’s trials. And we’ll definitely grow deeper in our faith.
If He leaves prayers unanswered, just believe He’s preparing something better. He shall comfort us in His own perfect time. And we’ll emerge victorious amid all of our life’s downs.
At present, Sav has been showing development at par with her age, except for very, very slight spasticity of extremities. Other than that, she interacts, mingles, laughs, smiles and giggles like any other normal baby.
She is able to hold her head up, roll over, firmly stand, reach for things, and make full use of her hands. She recognizes, mimics and plays. Thankfully, she has also started putting on some weight.
Honestly, I thought I’d never see her do any of these things. I seemed to have lost my faith. But by praying, I gained it back. By waiting, I’ve learned to be patient. And no matter what the outcome, the strength we’ve mustered is surely enough to help us get through any of life’s difficulties.